From Jan 24, 2009

It’s cold again today.  We were spoiled with three days in a row of more than 70 degrees, and now were back down below freezing.  Such is the pains and joys of living in such a wonderfully strange state such as Colorado.

I sat outside, wrapped in blankets, watching five squirrels in the neighbors’ yards across the street.

I was both surprised and pleased when I caught myself not thinking about it, and just watching.

Sometimes those few moments are what remind me that I can be centered and quieted.

From Jan 15, 2009

Maybe I just wasn’t inspired by posting stuff on my own blog.  Maybe I just needed to post elsewhere… yunno, get the creative juices flowing so that I could be inspired here.

So much pressure.
Repeat after me: I refuse to allow this blog to become pressure-filled.

Boo. To pressure.

From Jan 11, 2009

Flying through this life.  Is that a good thing? A bad thing?

I am content.

Quite blessed.  Happy.

When you put time between yourself and your past, you tend to let the old things go.  Maybe this is because we can only compute so much memory in our brains before newer, more important things replace the less important ones.

When you fly from your past like a flock of bats from hell’s gates, intentionally or not, fleeing from the past or running towards your goal, you tend to replace those old thoughts more rapidly, less completely.

So many years wasted on sleeping without dreams.

Nothing compacted itself, and in some cases, very little resolution, only clarity.  Confinement.  Redefinement.

We are in a new era.  We have connections with our past, like ghosts living amongst our living rooms.  Sleeping in our beds next to us.  We live in a time where the definition between past and future becomes cyclic instead of linear.  It’s exactly as it was predicted.  Where has this time gone?

It’s gone nowhere.  It is here.  Now.

Time is but a construct.

From Jan 10, 2009

I refused to be somewhat irrationally irritated that our roommate/L’s sister/my BFF threw a surprise party that we were not invited to.  For her ex-fiance/boyfriend/our friend.  Of course it was held at the ManShed, which is a former informal watering hole/Johnny’s garage turned bar, where I used to frequent A LOT in my past lifetime when I was sleeping with Johnny’s best friend.  Not invited now for a number of reasons, but ultimately it has to do with multiple parties not getting along.  Myself included.

I refused to be somewhat irrationaly irritated because what I did do last night was damn near perfect.

I won’t go into all of the details *wink* but at the end of the evening, I found myself watching The Goonies while lying in bed, before falling asleep. At one in the morning.  After having not consumed ANY. ALCOHOL. AT. ALL.

The Goonies… what a fabulous movie.  It charmed the minds and won the hearts of every child somewhere near my age.  It’s possibly THE most quoted movie of my generation.  It has pop stars back when they were wee peeps!  They’re adorable.  And there are childhood kisses, booty traps, love for a Sloth, and much much more.  Dreams come true in this movie.  I love that.

So, while I wasn’t included in the Astoria preppy/cool kids’ country club (I say that tongue in cheek), I am perfectly excited about what I did do.  Sometimes– ahem, MOST times, there is significant beauty in being able to find and appreciate your comfort zone.   It’s the place where you can snuggle your butt as far back as it goes, and you feel safe, happy, calm, and completely at peace.   In my case, it only backed up to the Most Wonderful Comfortable-est Bed, next to a Snoring Sexy.

And that’s the sort of peace you can’t get from a pipe.

From Jan 9, 2009

I woke up feeling wooky.

I don’t know what that really means or if it’s even a word.  I don’t care, it fits perfectly.

See, I’m getting this teeny tiny cold.  And it comes down to some minor congestion.  But I get congestion in my ears, and that hurts.  So I took some Nyquil.  At like, 8:30p last night.

And I woke up this morning.  Drunk.  I couldn’t see straight.  Couldn’t walk straight.  Was shaky and had sharp pains in my stomach.  I was not feeling safe to drive the hour drive to work.  I felt like I was hungover AND drunk.  All at once.  And I haven’t had drinks on a work night for a loooong time because I can’t function like that.

Note to self: Do NOT take Nyquil.

So I called into work and played hooky.

Which is fine except for this stabbing pang of guilt I feel for not playing my part on the team.  And we ARE a team.  I’m needed.  And I have work to do.  But not at the expense of failing a sobriety test if I had been pulled over on the way in to work.

And I have this sneaking suspicion I will be pulled over soon.  For no reason.  I am an avid traffic law abiding citizen.   Because law abiding prevents unplanned for time out of my day.  And such.

So I stayed home.  Chatted with my roomie, aka my bff since high school, aka Landon’s sister, aka stove-present-gifter-Santa (I’ll save that story for another time).

And then I did nothing.

Well, I drank two cups of tea.  Jasmine was the first cup.  Orange Blossom + honey was the second.  And read blogs.

And realized that one of the biggest local newspapers in Denver has me linked from their Neighbor’s page.  Seriously.  Fer rillz.  I can’t make this stuff up.

And then, I got an email from heaven.  Okay, it wasn’t really heaven, it was my friend who works in the chemistry department at the school I attend.  And lo and behold: I was given the go-ahead to get into the class I desparately wanted needed a seat in.   Which means… Dun dun duuuun, that I’m going to graduate at the end of summer, as I had planned! (pardon me while I do a little couch dance)

So what began as wooky, is turning out beautifully.

My schedule this Spring semester will contain the following classes:

1. Analytical Chemistry Lecture (T/R)
2. Analytical Chemistry Laboratory (T/R)
3. Culture & Diversity in Health & Illness (online)

This is excellent.  Because the other alternate schedule involved me in the following less fabulous classes:

1. History & Systems of Psychology (M/W)
2. Research Methods II (T/R)
3. Introduction to Chicano Studies (online)

And would require me to take Analytical Chem in the Fall of 09 because they don’t offer it as a night class during the summer.

Hooray!!!  Did you also note that the alternate schedule had me at school four nights a week?  That’s a lot.

So this summer, I have to take History & Systems and RM II.  Which is fine, because those classes will be considerably easier than Anal Chem.  (yes, I went there)

Awesome.

In other good news, the dogs are sleeping.  And the Floyd Kitteh (formerly known as Fuckin Kitteh) is sleeping.  And I am not.  And I’m not drunk anymore, either.

PS.  From UrbanDictionary.com:

So, it’s a noun.  I thought I made that word up dammit.  Well, MY word is an adjective.

P.P.S. My honey is not a wooky.  He not only has excellent hair, but also won the college football pool at his work, even though he NEVER watches football.