From Nov 23, 2008

Welcome, welcome to my blog.

I may know you.  I may not.  You may like what you read here.  You may not.

Either way, this is MY blog, and while I recognize the public nature of a blog, it is still MINE and not YOURS.

This means that if you are reading, you are here in MY space, which is welcoming, warm, and compassionate.  I turn my face away from no one.  At the same time, if you are unhappy here, please do yourself and me a favor by leaving.

No tearful goodbyes.  Just two (or more) adults who agree that we can’t just agree to disagree.  Instead of fighting about it, let’s just be mature and decide that I’m not really for you.

Yes, I want you to love me.  I want you to read every juicy morsel I put down here.

At the same time, this is ME, this is MINE, and I love it, regardless of whether you like it or not.

If you don’t like it, you’re certainly welcome to hit “HOME” on your web browser.  Or, even better, go to the links under “What I’m reading.”  There are various people whom I love reading, who are very different from me.  You will love them, I swear.

Anyways, to my loyal readers, my pretties, thank you.  Thank you for coming back every time.  You guys rock.  Like seriously.  I love you guys!  And though I’m not sure what sick fascination you have with me here, I like it.

Carry on.

*wink*

From Oct 30, 2008

Terror filled nights
Violence pervades
Who’s my daddy, not my daddy, you’re my daddy
No father
Mommy screams in pain and anger
Mommy’s hurt
Holes in walls
And drugs and guns
Someone rescue me
Not you, you’re not my daddy, who’s my daddy
No father here
Rescued once and then again
Rescued nightly
But not by daddy
I sat alone
Was lonely but
It didn’t matter
No wonder fears
No wonder abandonment
Who’s my daddy, you’re not my daddy
No father here

I’ve been inspired to write an autobiography. The problem is that I don’t really care to share all of those things from my past with you. Honestly, it’s nearly never that I think of my childhood– mostly because I don’t remember much, but also because it’s important for me to focus on creating a wonderful present and future for myself, not be traumatized by the past.

However, there are certain things that might be helpful for me to share– perhaps in the form of abstract poetry, that can help me understand myself and understand parenting in general.

My life is beautiful. I have healthy relationships, and I’m doing everything I wish to do. I am accomplishing my goals, and I lead a healthy, happy life. I’m not living in my past (thank goddess), and I am constantly moving forward. Still, it helps me to appreciate just how far I’ve come in order to not become wary of the challenges I face in my adult life.

There is more to come, and it only gets better, because the story turns out like a faerie tale. *grin*

From Oct 24, 2008

Now, picture me singing like Marilyn Monroe.

*singing throatily*

Today’s my sweetheart’s birthday.  He is the ripe old age of thirty-one years old!

We celebrate years based on our birthdays rather than on the calendar years.  So, for every birthday we mark an actual year, setting down new resolutions, goals, and wishes.

Please take a moment to comment on this sexy man’s blog, wishing him another most extraordinary year!!!

Love you, baby.

From Oct 17, 2008

Oh, the stories I can tell… I tend to avoid the bitter ones because honestly they contain a lot more drama than one little happy-go-lucky blog should have to shoulder.  As much as I try to forget them, sometimes it’s positive to remember them so that I can refrain from repeating the mistakes in the past I have learned from.

A blast from the past tonight.  I spent some time with my siblings.  Bet ya didn’t realize I have siblings.  Technically, if you count step siblings, I have a lot.  I don’t count step-siblings any more.  I don’t talk to any of them, and frankly, from all sides of the spectrum, I have nothing in common with any of them.  It’s not to say that I didn’t love them all once… in fact, I loved all of my step-sisters deeply.  They were my life, my best friends.  I saw so much potential in them that I was driven to pull it out of them, even while they were kicking and screaming.  As much as I wished for them to overcome the lifestyles they (we?) were raised in, I was never successful.  They held much more longevity in the kicking and screaming stages than I could possibly care to withstand.  So I gave up.  I walked away.  I didn’t even have to create some dramatic story about it, I just quit calling.  Much to my disappointment, they didn’t respond.  Ever.

Do I miss them?  Some days a lot more than others.  I think I see my older step-sister in every face on campus.  I pray I run into her one day.  At the same time, I realize there’s a perfectly good reason I don’t.

As much as I wished the step-ones good fortune, I realize that good fortune doesn’t actually visit anyone.  It’s not fortune at all.  This is proof when I see my siblings– my blood siblings.  Tonight I was reminded that if you want to overcome, you must fight a battle.

I’m so proud of them.  My little sister is amazing and beautiful.  My little brother is talented and awesome.

One day, they’re going to be someone.  Today, they already are.

From Oct 12, 2008

Mind you, this is my opinion. You are welcome to disagree if you’d like. Just be prepared to hear hisses and boos and duck a rotten tomato here and there.

Just kidding, about the rotten tomato. I’ll probably offer you a nice, fresh, garden-grown one as long as they last through our first freeze. Poor maters out there in the cold…

Anyway, as I was saying… It’s okay with me if you disagree with me. I love and respect you just the same. The beauty is here that we can say what our opinions are, and we don’t have to worry about repercussions from it, aside from the basic social repercussions, and well, I figure that if you make your bed…

Moving back on topic, the separation of church and state. Here’s where we get it all wrong: We live in a country where we have the freedom to be who we want to be, without fear of punishment from the government. Religiously speaking of course. That’s what those famous dudes who signed the Declaration meant it to be. America was a respite for religious persecution. There were all kinds of religious beliefs at the time our founding fathers wrote that tiny caveat into the Constitution. This is our first amendment right. In case it’s been a long time since you’ve looked at this, let me refresh your memory: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” (Thank you http://www.usconstitution.net.)

What this means in common speak is that A) the government can’t establish a religious right, and B) it can’t prevent you from practicing your own religion. The latter of the two parts of that was interpreted by the court that this was fine but you can’t take another person’s life or harm another person in any way.

So, for all those people who are complaining that a person offended you because their beliefs are different than yours, shut up and mind your own business! We live in a country that allows people to have the beliefs they desire and if you don’t like it, you should probably go move somewhere where the government mandates that all people believe like you. (Good luck with that one, let me know when you find a pagan-run state, mkay?)

I agree that a certain religion shouldn’t be upheld within government offices. This goes for ALL religion. Government offices are about politics and law, not about who your god is.

On the other side, there is a time and place for everything, including spirituality. It’s asking a lot, I know, but it is up to YOU to figure out when the right time and place is.